As I pack to prepare for my 2 weeks in Helena, I really have no idea what to think. This will be one of the most challenging and offsetting things I've done with my summer (maybe my life, but my memory is hazy as it is extremely late in the evening)
While I usually went to Helena to simply put on a show, this time I'm going in to do something I never really thought I was ever going to do, teach. I don't really consider myself a good educator, so it bothers me if I'll be adequate to keep two 6th grade and one 8th grade class occupied long enough to be considered a class. I keep my fingers crossed. Also have a workshop AND a showcase, but I think I'll manage.
I'll try to keep updated, but my capability of keeping up with this blog is less than reliable.
Cheers
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
Too Lazy to Do Lazy Things...
Lately I've been avoiding doing things I do when I'm bored. This, from my understanding, is a sign of depression, which seeps in through the cracks on occasion. The problem is that I really find very few opportunities for getting out of it. Usually I'd just go find friends, bitch for 15 minutes and then go have fun, but it's become very noticeable how old I'm getting by how few friends are still coming back to Cut Bank. I've become very reliant on Facebook, MSN, and eBuddy (Which is Facebook AND MSN) to keep a somewhat social life. The most interaction I've had with people outside of work (which is full of people I'd avoid outside of the work place) was at Danielle's graduation party, and most of them were twice my age.
Anyways, I realy just get stuck in a rut and even if I try to watch a movie, read a book, or play video games, my mind just gets completely turned off by the idea. I'm hoping this blog will prove useful over the summer to help deal with this. I think this would go away faster if I even had one or two friends I could chat with on Facebook on a constant basis.
Anyways, I realy just get stuck in a rut and even if I try to watch a movie, read a book, or play video games, my mind just gets completely turned off by the idea. I'm hoping this blog will prove useful over the summer to help deal with this. I think this would go away faster if I even had one or two friends I could chat with on Facebook on a constant basis.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Should I Stay or Should I Upgrade?
Can't get to sleep, so I figure I'll bore myself with another blog post.
What I'm wondering is if I should destroy the first half of this blog?
On one side, it shows how I've evolved (or devolved) as a writer. It's a great way to see maturity in my opinions and how life's ways have changed me.
On the other side, I really hate young Nick. He was pretentious, poorly educated, and really didn't know the world outside his tiny plane of reality. Starting new can put a real different take on this page, and really let it start from scratch.
Oh well. We'll figure it out. By we I mean those who read this, and by people who read this, I mean me.
What I'm wondering is if I should destroy the first half of this blog?
On one side, it shows how I've evolved (or devolved) as a writer. It's a great way to see maturity in my opinions and how life's ways have changed me.
On the other side, I really hate young Nick. He was pretentious, poorly educated, and really didn't know the world outside his tiny plane of reality. Starting new can put a real different take on this page, and really let it start from scratch.
Oh well. We'll figure it out. By we I mean those who read this, and by people who read this, I mean me.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
10 Days Left on the Roller Coaster Known as April
Here I am, just a few weeks of the one year anniversary of my last post on this blog.
I remember beginning and updating this blog so that I could procrastinate, display my thoughts and emotions, and give the illusion that I am "deep." I find it funny that I return with little to no change to those motives. As I type this, I have successfully kept from writing a Shakespeare paper for hours now. A combination of simple procrastination, a now confirmed yet undiagnosed case of ADD (seriously), and current events have been the main contributors.
Well I guess we can start with the classic idea of good news and bad news. I can now say I'm an award winning director, and although it wasn't in an event that I'd necessarily call important or distinguished, it felt good to win while taking my first classes as a director. I'm also a published poet. The college I'm at publishes a magazine with poetry once a year to appease the English majors, and one of my three entries made it. I laughed when I found out it was the one I hated. It's a mess of cliches and overused ideas, but it kept the english teacher happy, and I guess the publishers liked it too. So within one month, I feel I can safely be proud of my accomplishments lately. My sister also won Cut Bank's Junior Miss, and that really is something I'm proud of. It's never been my bag, but her and her older sis Danielle have been interested in this thing since my Mom resurrected the rotting corpse of Montana's Junior Miss from Missoula, so to hear of her success is uplifting.
Unfortunately, it seems the bad news bears down on the good news, suffocating its already meager existence. Like last year, finals are approaching, and those several assignments due beforehand are definitely not getting any easier. Halfway through this year I thought I had gotten a system down to avoid the last minute shuffle where I literally was typing three major papers at the same time, but it seems like my inability to focus has no intention of stopping.
Money has a been a real pain. I had been somewhat responsible recently, and a few weeks ago, a friend offered to take me out on the town (by town I mean Sioux Falls), and while there I spent a great amount of the tax refund I received this year. It seems that my expenses didn't expect that, as money for directing and life in general has been draining me lately. I'm really down to the last few dimes, even using money from my savings (which I held out for so long before using.)
My grandmother was hospitalized recently. While it did have me worried for a while, it does seem that she's doing better now. My dad and uncle came up/down to Pennsylvania to keep check on her, and I believe she should do just fine.
Finally, I hear that my dog, Amos, is not doing so well. In the past, he's survived possible cancer and miraculously recovered from an almost lethal case of anemia. However, he recently had a stroke which paralyzed the left side of this body. I've been told he cant even stand or walk properly, and that he isn't expected to make it through the week. It's rough hearing that on Sunday, knowing you have 7 days of holding your breath waiting for that call, and even if nothing new is reported, that every day after is just as unnerving, waiting for that inevitable ring from home.
It's always a unique experience when death is involved. I find an even more unique experience as so much of my experience has been with dogs. My first time was with my dog Natasha, who was suffering from waves of strokes that would randomly hit. Being young at the time, I am still quite unsure of the specifics, but from what my parents have told me, it seems it was going to happen sooner or later. She died relatively young. We then lost Max, a dog very close to the family, since we got him when I was only a few months old. One night his stomach ruptured very unexpectantly and died within hours. To this day I have no idea how that happened, but it was just as hard, if not harder, to deal with than it was with Natasha. Max died when I was in the 2nd Grade, if memory serves.
We got Amos just shortly after moving to Montana. I can't remember specific dates, but I can remember first meeting him, as he was an outside dog. That was important, because he was brough into a trailer where he threw himself at full speed onto the furniture and bounced off, running laps around area. Even before signing the papers, it became very apparent that he was attached the women, and clung to mom like he had known her his entire life. Despite being a ranch dog, Amos quickly found the inside of our house to be far more appealing. He'd eventually find his throne on an old brown recliner. I remember when mom told dad and me to get rid of that chair. She said it was a gross eyesore, but both of us were less than pleased, as we felt we taking Amos's favorite part of the house out the door. This dog is a survivor. Amongst the many things he's been through, the scariest was the anemia. He'd bleed freely from his gums after chewing on a bone, and his skin began to loosen up (I noticed it was getting harder to see his eyes as his lids and brows began to cover them.) Dad brought him to the vet, and later told me during Amos's stay he seemed to be getting worse. At one point, my dad's thought was "If nothing seems to be helping, we might have to put him down in the morning." That very morning, Amos inexplicably became better. Nothing was bothering him, and his bleeding problem was a thing of the past, and the only thing wrong was that he hadn't seen mom for so long, and greeted her with tremendous amount of love. He loved her more than anyone else. He had a habit early on of jumping the fence and walking around. One memorable day he got out, and walked straight into the school, traced my mom's cent, and snuck into her office, curling up under her desk as if to say "I was lonely, and if you let me stay here, I promise I won't make a fuss." Amos took it upon himself to bark at every person who entered the house, regardless of who or what they were. It annoyed a lot of us, but remember changing my perspective of his constant barking when my dad once wrote about how he enjoyed entering the house after being gone for so long, and Amos was eager to let you know he was there and he cared. His recognition of your existence was great way of being reminded that you were home. As my dad said, "It's great to know someone is glad you're home." Everyone one of our friends knows the dogs. Simba and Amos go synonymous with the Amanda, Kimberley, Alexis, and everyone else. You knew someone was used to visiting the Wineman house when they ceased to be surprised or scared of the large black beast charging down the stairs to greet you.
So here I am, with the phone closer to me, as it is my last gate to him. I am well aware that January 10th, 2009 is most likely the last time I'll ever see him. It'll be odd to cope with death from such a distance. I imagine my dad will be having an equally difficult time while in DC. I worry most for those at home, of course. What I fear, though, is what will happen when I return. Like any dog, Amos does a good job of leaving himself all over the place. the remnants of the rawhides on blankets and carpets, the few strands of hair the vacuum refuses to take, and even worse getting over the expectancies. I do not look forward to feeding time and remembering I only need to get one bowl, or saying good night to my mom and seeing the end of her bed not occupied, and getting used to entering the house without hearing those welcoming barks.
I remember beginning and updating this blog so that I could procrastinate, display my thoughts and emotions, and give the illusion that I am "deep." I find it funny that I return with little to no change to those motives. As I type this, I have successfully kept from writing a Shakespeare paper for hours now. A combination of simple procrastination, a now confirmed yet undiagnosed case of ADD (seriously), and current events have been the main contributors.
Well I guess we can start with the classic idea of good news and bad news. I can now say I'm an award winning director, and although it wasn't in an event that I'd necessarily call important or distinguished, it felt good to win while taking my first classes as a director. I'm also a published poet. The college I'm at publishes a magazine with poetry once a year to appease the English majors, and one of my three entries made it. I laughed when I found out it was the one I hated. It's a mess of cliches and overused ideas, but it kept the english teacher happy, and I guess the publishers liked it too. So within one month, I feel I can safely be proud of my accomplishments lately. My sister also won Cut Bank's Junior Miss, and that really is something I'm proud of. It's never been my bag, but her and her older sis Danielle have been interested in this thing since my Mom resurrected the rotting corpse of Montana's Junior Miss from Missoula, so to hear of her success is uplifting.
Unfortunately, it seems the bad news bears down on the good news, suffocating its already meager existence. Like last year, finals are approaching, and those several assignments due beforehand are definitely not getting any easier. Halfway through this year I thought I had gotten a system down to avoid the last minute shuffle where I literally was typing three major papers at the same time, but it seems like my inability to focus has no intention of stopping.
Money has a been a real pain. I had been somewhat responsible recently, and a few weeks ago, a friend offered to take me out on the town (by town I mean Sioux Falls), and while there I spent a great amount of the tax refund I received this year. It seems that my expenses didn't expect that, as money for directing and life in general has been draining me lately. I'm really down to the last few dimes, even using money from my savings (which I held out for so long before using.)
My grandmother was hospitalized recently. While it did have me worried for a while, it does seem that she's doing better now. My dad and uncle came up/down to Pennsylvania to keep check on her, and I believe she should do just fine.
Finally, I hear that my dog, Amos, is not doing so well. In the past, he's survived possible cancer and miraculously recovered from an almost lethal case of anemia. However, he recently had a stroke which paralyzed the left side of this body. I've been told he cant even stand or walk properly, and that he isn't expected to make it through the week. It's rough hearing that on Sunday, knowing you have 7 days of holding your breath waiting for that call, and even if nothing new is reported, that every day after is just as unnerving, waiting for that inevitable ring from home.
It's always a unique experience when death is involved. I find an even more unique experience as so much of my experience has been with dogs. My first time was with my dog Natasha, who was suffering from waves of strokes that would randomly hit. Being young at the time, I am still quite unsure of the specifics, but from what my parents have told me, it seems it was going to happen sooner or later. She died relatively young. We then lost Max, a dog very close to the family, since we got him when I was only a few months old. One night his stomach ruptured very unexpectantly and died within hours. To this day I have no idea how that happened, but it was just as hard, if not harder, to deal with than it was with Natasha. Max died when I was in the 2nd Grade, if memory serves.
We got Amos just shortly after moving to Montana. I can't remember specific dates, but I can remember first meeting him, as he was an outside dog. That was important, because he was brough into a trailer where he threw himself at full speed onto the furniture and bounced off, running laps around area. Even before signing the papers, it became very apparent that he was attached the women, and clung to mom like he had known her his entire life. Despite being a ranch dog, Amos quickly found the inside of our house to be far more appealing. He'd eventually find his throne on an old brown recliner. I remember when mom told dad and me to get rid of that chair. She said it was a gross eyesore, but both of us were less than pleased, as we felt we taking Amos's favorite part of the house out the door. This dog is a survivor. Amongst the many things he's been through, the scariest was the anemia. He'd bleed freely from his gums after chewing on a bone, and his skin began to loosen up (I noticed it was getting harder to see his eyes as his lids and brows began to cover them.) Dad brought him to the vet, and later told me during Amos's stay he seemed to be getting worse. At one point, my dad's thought was "If nothing seems to be helping, we might have to put him down in the morning." That very morning, Amos inexplicably became better. Nothing was bothering him, and his bleeding problem was a thing of the past, and the only thing wrong was that he hadn't seen mom for so long, and greeted her with tremendous amount of love. He loved her more than anyone else. He had a habit early on of jumping the fence and walking around. One memorable day he got out, and walked straight into the school, traced my mom's cent, and snuck into her office, curling up under her desk as if to say "I was lonely, and if you let me stay here, I promise I won't make a fuss." Amos took it upon himself to bark at every person who entered the house, regardless of who or what they were. It annoyed a lot of us, but remember changing my perspective of his constant barking when my dad once wrote about how he enjoyed entering the house after being gone for so long, and Amos was eager to let you know he was there and he cared. His recognition of your existence was great way of being reminded that you were home. As my dad said, "It's great to know someone is glad you're home." Everyone one of our friends knows the dogs. Simba and Amos go synonymous with the Amanda, Kimberley, Alexis, and everyone else. You knew someone was used to visiting the Wineman house when they ceased to be surprised or scared of the large black beast charging down the stairs to greet you.
So here I am, with the phone closer to me, as it is my last gate to him. I am well aware that January 10th, 2009 is most likely the last time I'll ever see him. It'll be odd to cope with death from such a distance. I imagine my dad will be having an equally difficult time while in DC. I worry most for those at home, of course. What I fear, though, is what will happen when I return. Like any dog, Amos does a good job of leaving himself all over the place. the remnants of the rawhides on blankets and carpets, the few strands of hair the vacuum refuses to take, and even worse getting over the expectancies. I do not look forward to feeding time and remembering I only need to get one bowl, or saying good night to my mom and seeing the end of her bed not occupied, and getting used to entering the house without hearing those welcoming barks.
Well, I have to stop. I could probably write entire pages on the fella, but of course this was a procrastinating tool, and I cannot in fact turn this in as it has nothing to do with miscommunications of either Romeo & Juliet, Antony & Cleopatra, or King Lear.
I notice I had a habit of leaving a YouTube at the end of my posts, so I'll drop another. Give it a listen, as it kind of goes with the mood of most of this post.
Till next time, take care...
I notice I had a habit of leaving a YouTube at the end of my posts, so I'll drop another. Give it a listen, as it kind of goes with the mood of most of this post.
Till next time, take care...
Monday, May 4, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
I love you, believe it or not
Believe it or not, I want to keep this alive, I just have pushed it to the back of my priorities list.
I find it funny that my blogging quit almost the same time North's did.
Anyways, I've really tricked out my macbook. With Firefox, I've added something that let's me make this post without having to actually log into the site. I can play my iTunes by just pressing some buttons on the browser rather than manage both. I also have Twitter, which is great for people who don't have time for Facebook (or people who can do both). Twitter.com is just a combo of the status updates of Facebook and blogging. You simply go one, leave an update on how you are doing and leave it at that. Your friends come on see how your doing and leave their two cents. It's conveniant to keep in touch with people who are hard to keep in contact (I'm lookin at you mom! Get a Twitter! It's perfect for you!)
Probably my favorite thing now is since my iPod can only be charged through my macbook, my sound system is hooked up to my macbook. I messed around with my iCalendar so that it is my new alarm clock. My favorite modification though is my celebration music. I'm a guy that loves a good happy energetic song after a long week, and my mac plays this song at the end of my Friday classes. Don't tell me you don't feel awesomely awesome after hearing this...
:)
----------------
Now playing on iTunes: String Cheese Incident - Land's End
via FoxyTunes
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Merry Be-Lated Christmas
My Favorite show donated yet another christmas song I just got my hands on, so here's the possibly the last recording of the wonderful pairing of No. 21 and 24 and their wonderful music.
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